Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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