so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
