we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
