I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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