Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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