it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
