ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Sorry about my life...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
