i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
