1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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