Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
