This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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