I wish my penis had an off switch
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
