I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
