I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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