The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
