His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
