You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
