dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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