Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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