And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
