YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I need to align my fucking chakras
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
