I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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