No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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