he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
This is the high leading the old right now
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
