that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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