i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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