I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
