His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
