You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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