I'm gonna have a badass scar
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i think my cat just said my name.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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