Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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