i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
