38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
