what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
