Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize