i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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