Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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