Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
