He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize