So drunk its hurt
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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