babies were throwing up all over the place
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
