Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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