in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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