question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize