Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
