Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
