Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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