you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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