i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize