her vagine was all disorganized.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
