Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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