Hey man sorry I got all grabby
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
