I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
