Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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