Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
