In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize