Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
