i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
