I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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