The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
