porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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